Before

Time changes everything
who we are
who we used to be
memories

Looking back I thought we'd last
through it all
overcome the past
I couldn't see


And now that you're gone
I don't know who I miss more
You, or the person I was before


It's hard to forget
the way things were
the feelings from before
memories

My eyes focus back
on what we had
before things got bad
remembering


And now that you're gone
I don't know who I miss more
You, or the person I was before


My laugh
My light
even my smile
I don't know where they've gone

I may have been broken
But I won't let permanent happen
I'm gonna find that girl


And since you've been gone
I found out who I miss more
It's not you
It's the person I was before
It's the person I was before
I hope you miss the person I was before.

-Melaknee Rows
10/5/09

Release Me

When I leave this place, release me to the wind.

Give me the wings I never had and set me free.

And when you think of me, think of the wind. You cannot see it, but you can feel it. Because it is there, always.

Don't cry when I'm gone, for I will not be far. Remember the laughter, the happiness.

Feel me in the summer breeze. I will always be there.

When I leave this place, release me to teh wind.

Give me the wings I never had and set me free.

~MelakneeRows

Confronting My Gay Issues

It's strange to think that throughout my teenage years, I've always thought being gay was wrong, that it was a sin. Many people think this; it's not the thinking of it that's strange to me. It's the fact that the entire time I was thinking that all of the gay people were going to Hell, one of my best friends at the time was gay herself. And I knew she was, she had told us many times and even introduced us to her girlfriends. I seemed to have no problem with it when it was right in front of me. But whenever I thought about it, I was very against it.
I'm addressing this issue today because I was listening to a youth service a while back and the pastor was telling the audience about sinning. And he was saying that just because we sin, that doesn't mean God doesn't love us. It really got me thinking about the way I view the world. Now, I don't go to church, never really have, but I know that God knows we're sinners, that's why he sent his only son to die for us, right? My argument against being gay was that it was a sin. And that "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." And yes, I still believe that being gay is a sin. But I also believe that God loves us no matter what.
This is definitely something I will continue to think about and continue to argue in my head. But for now I will no longer openly debate this topic. I will listen to my companions express their beliefs, but for now, I'm going to keep my opinions to myself, because I'm not sure if I even believe them anymore.

~MelakneeRows

Inivisible

So I wrote this poem thing a couple of years ago after the greatest summer of my life. It was full of laughter, happiness, heartache and tears. There were bad times and there were good times, and I will always remember them. I used to look back on it and feel a pain in my heart, but after a while it went away, and I have learned that there will be hard times in life, but you can't run away from them. You can't hide from the heart breaks, you have to face them head on, that's when you learn about yourself, that's when you grow.

"Do you realize what you are to me? ...Everyone else will always be second best." -Roswell

Everyone has that one summer, the best summer of their lives. The summer they found love and laughter. The summer they found happiness. I found my summer. He made me laugh and cry. He made me want to scream and kiss him all at the same time. But most of all, he made me love him. It was one sided and hopeless, because he loved her. That hurt worse than loosing him in the end. And even more than that, she knew. And so did everyone else. Because I'm completely transparent, except to him. To him I'm just invisible.

"I love you more than bunnies."

A Fresh Start

I came across this site via twitter and decided on a whim to start a blog. Why not? So this blog will basically contain the randomness that floats around in my mind. My opinions, my dreams, my thoughts, my daily workings...a whole lot of random stuff. Because I really don't know what else I would write about. So thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy Randomonium!!!!


Melaknee Rows